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Things I have witnessed in Los Angeles

– A guy jumping out of a helicopter while riding a snowboard, and the helicopter exploding as he jumped out of it.

– A gang member spray painting his gang's 'tag' on a corpse as if the corpse was just part of the wall.

– A palm tree on fire

– A police officer robbing a 7–11 while laughing and throwing 'cheetohs' in the face of the clerk as if to say "What are you gonna do about it?!"

– Axl Rose asleep on my couch

– The mayor getting a tomato thrown at him from a Rolls Royce driving by.

– Hats with bad words embroidered on them

– An investment banker eating a cheeseburger in MacArthur Park in the middle of the night.

– C–walkers

– Morrissey at the Cat and Fiddle enjoying 'chips' and beer whilst casually singing songs to the company of a small audience who claps politely.

– A Lamborghini wrapped around a telephone pole

– Eco green yoga vegan restaurants